Three things you need to know if you are new to meditation

Have you ever wondered what meditation is all about?

When I was in my thirties I was struggling with finding my path. I was doing research in a science lab in Geneva, Switzerland, but I started to realize that my daily activities didn’t make sense anymore, I was heart broken because my relationship had just fallen apart, I didn’t see where I was going with my life, and not much seemed fun anymore. Looking for a way out of my unsatisfying situation, I started going to mediation classes. And I am very glad I did!

Here is my journey full of inevitable trial and error

I didn’t really know where to start so I decided to sit into several different meditation classes to see which one worked best for me. After all, different teachers would give me different perspectives and hopefully I would find one that worked for me.

I found myself in some classes without much instruction. All I was told is “calm your mind and listen to your soul”. It wasn’t clear to me how I was supposed to do that. So often I ended up aimlessly daydreaming. I went several times but felt like I wasn’t going anywhere with that.

I had been doing martial arts for many years, and we would start every class with a short meditation. We would repeat the same five phrases over and over, I guess like a mantra. I admit, I did that for 20 years at the beginning of every karate class, and I can’t say that it worked for me. I don’t think I ever got it. It just felt like too much talking and not enough time to actually relax my mind.

In another class, I found myself staring at a burning candle. Maybe this was supposed to distract my mind? I ended up randomly following all kinds of thoughts. This happened frequently, and it is part of the process, but it can be quite frustrating. It took me a while to understand that I should use this time to practice detaching myself from my thoughts. Sometimes I was successful, other times not.

One teacher verbally guided us through visualizations of inner energetic structures that not only helped keeping our mind busy at first, but also facilitated opening the passage to receive messages from the universe. My favorite one looked like a funnel that opened up above our head, placing us as receptacle underneath. It took a while for me to take the step from focusing on building the energy structure to mentally letting go and opening myself up to receiving what was coming to me. This was one of my favorite tools as it was clear to me what I was trying to do, and the more I did it, the better I got at it.

Now, taking this technique outdoors was even a better experience. I went to several meditation weeks in the Sahara desert. We were wandering around dunes for hours, feeling the connection to our surroundings. To this day, this is what works best for me: spending time in nature, disconnecting from day to day worries, “bathing” in the incredible energy that surrounds us, putting myself in receiving mode. My understanding is that the messages from the soul come from the all encompassing wisdom that floats around in the universe, and when we are out in nature it is much easier to feel connected to and become part of the energy of the universe. Then, downloading into your mind what you need to know right now from this immense database of wisdom, to make the right decisions or take the next step in the right direction, becomes so much accessible, almost tangible.

I find it also helpful to have a certain question to meditate on and focus on attracting an answer rather than just opening up to whatever is “floating out there” that might be of interest to me. Sometimes I do that, because it is kind of fun and it has opened up new horizons for me. But I wouldn’t start there. Narrowing it down can be very helpful at the beginning.

I have to say, it was and still is, not an easy journey, but definitely one that is worth walking. Especially since one thing I learned early on in my martial arts practice is that the journey itself is the goal! So start stepping on your path and observe what happens, and don’t forget to enjoy!

If you are still reading this, it looks like you are interested in this journey. Wonderful! So let me help you get started by sharing the three most important things I learned on the way.

1 – The journey is yours, not your teacher’s

When you are looking for a teacher, you need to be aware that he or she will most likely have a very strong impact on you, and you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. There are three things human beings are very attracted to: money, power, and sex. And you need to be very aware of this!

I got lucky because I eventually found a very good teacher. He warned us about the power position of teachers. “It is very easy to manipulate people into believing things when they first start out on their meditation journey”, he said, “especially if they are here because they are struggling in life.” He told us to make sure to always check in with ourselves, that we needed to be very honest with ourselves, and that it was our journey, not his. He would guide us from his experience, but it was our job to make our own.

I really appreciated his honesty because it was indeed a confusing and challenging process, and his guidance was very helpful and valuable.

2 – Meditation is downloading information from the soul into the mind

Understanding that meditation is getting past the limited comprehension of our mind and accessing the limitless all-knowing wisdom of our soul is the first step to success. This can sound confusing when we first hear it, but in my opinion it is the single most important information that should be taught in every meditation class.

But, what exactly does that mean?

We are body, mind, and soul.

The body is the temporary vehicle for the soul while we are on this planet.

The mind is a tool in our body that helps us navigate the solid world.

The soul is our eternal true self. It enters the body at birth, lives a lifetime of enriching experiences, and when it leaves, our body dies.

The problem is that as our soul enters the body, our mind tends to take over our consciousness and we often make the mistake of identifying ourselves with our minds. We need to make sure to stay closely connected to our soul.

So, the goal of meditation is to intentionally open up a passage, letting the soul’s message speak to us, and it is our job, with the help of our teacher, to find a way to do that.

3 – The language of your soul is your feeling

Neal Donald Walsh, the author of “Conversations with God” taught me this. I just wish I had heard that sooner in my meditation practice. It would have been very helpful, because it is probably the most reliable tool I learned. You will know that you are listening to your soul when it feels right. This is probably what my other teacher meant when he said “check in with yourself”, but I didn’t get it back then. Sometimes wording things differently is what it takes, or maybe, I just wasn’t ready to understand it when I first heard it.

Nowadays, I always remind my kids: “If you don’t know if you should do something, ask yourself if it feels right. If it does, do it! If it doesn’t, don’t! Always check in with how you feel about it. That is your soul speaking to you.”

I can say that learning to meditate is, without a doubt, one of the best things I have done in life so far (besides making and having babies! : )! If you haven’t tried it yet, you really should. In my opinion, this is really what life is all about! It’s never too late!

And don’t forget to have fun!

This is a picture of my most extraordinary meditation teacher, my husband. Doesn’t he look nicely connected to his surrounding? There definitely aren’t many distractions on his horizon in this moment.

But that’s actually not the point I was going to make. He is my extraordinary teacher because… guys…! you surely require most of our meditation skills! Thanks for the frequent practice opportunity! <3

Usually family members are indeed the ones who require our most advanced meditation skills! In these moments I remember my teacher telling me: “If something bothers you in another person, it is because it really resonates, which means, you have it in yourself!” So, dear family members, thank you for helping me advance in my meditation practice and putting up with me! : *

If you would like a more visual support of how body, mind, and soul work together, check out my children’s books series Kids’ Questions About Life. Several parents have told me they were also really helpful to them : )

Happy meditating!

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